I have always been adventurous I believe, but I don’t think I’ve always been a risk taker.  There is a constant dialogue going on in my head between the half that wants to feel a rush of adrenaline, and the other side that would rather just enjoy the scenery and protect my bones.  Hanging around so many professional athletes often makes me wonder if I’m the only one who feels this way.  But I assume that most of us (especially women) have a reasonable sense of self preservation.  We just don’t always talk about it when doing fun and risky sports like skiing and biking.  We’re often fearless as little ones, and as we experience injuries throughout our lives, we are effected in different ways.  

Biking has been a challenge for me as long as I can really remember.  Sure I could pedal around, but what I mostly remember from my childhood bike experiences is getting on a bike with handle brakes for the first time.  I gleefully sped down a paved path at Cape Cod Hill School in New Sharon Maine.  When I needed to slow down as I approached the school, I naturally started pedaling backwards.  This was of course to no avail.  I panicked just in time to scream and smash into the brick school building.  The result was my first broken collarbone: painful AND annoying!  I managed to break my other collarbone a number of years later going over the handlebars on my mountain bike.  Beginning to see my unfortunate pattern?

 Since then I haven’t been a very tough biker.  Which is quite a bummer considering how much great biking has been around the places I’ve lived in Colorado and Utah!  The past couple summers though, I have learned to enjoy biking again without being scared.  I realized I don’t have to do anything crazy to have a good time!  I really like to ride Bobsled, which is right up in the foothills around Salt Lake City.  But this past September one of my best college friends Sara Kay and and her boyfriend Steve visited from Colorado.  Along with my boyfriend Kyle, we took a couples ride on part of the Crest Trail in Big Cottonwood Canyon.  There were gorgeous fall colors and it was such a beautiful day…beautiful day to scare the crap out of myself! 

 There is a very short section of trail along this ridge above Desolations Lake that is rocky, exposed, and to me--terrifying.  I could not get myself to stay on my bike, and walked over most of the section.  It felt like a blow to my confidence and my ego.  When I get frustrated, I don’t tend to want to talk about it.  If I let it get to me enough it’ll really put a damper on my day, which is something I’ve learned about myself in these types of situations.  So as we began biking again I had to give myself a pep talk. 

 It’s a gorgeous day. 

You’re with friends you don’t get to see nearly enough. 

You have been having fun. 

You biked up that whole damn puke hill only stopping once to take off a layer.

WATER BAR!

ROCK!

No, I actually didn’t crash over the water bar.  Or the rock.  In fact, even though the next section of trail turned out to be kind of hairy itself…it was so much fun!  Luckily for me, I had an epiphany that day.  Biking scares me because I let it scare me.  Because I scare me.  But on the rest of the Crest Trail that day, I started trusting myself and stopped scaring myself.  I rode off every water bar and smiled all the while.  And next year I’m going to ride that trail again.  I’ll get to that ridge and give it my best.  If I end up getting off my bike again, I’ll stick out my tongue or give it a wink.  I’ll get ya next time!

Hannah